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If I ran the network, part 3

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Recently I kicked off a new feature, "If I Ran the Network," a series of TV concepts that would never have made it to the small screen without network executives screwing them up. If you have similar ideas, please share them in the comments section; if I get enough, I'll use them to put together a complete prime-time lineup for the fictional HBC Network!

The idea for The Phil Collins Show was born from the success of The Tracey Ullman Show, which ran on Fox for four seasons from 1987 to 1990, and is now primarily known for having introduced The Simpsons. The Ullman show was a brilliant concept, combining sketch comedy, musical acts, and cartoon shorts, such as the Simpsons feature. In order to make this kind of concept work, you need one of two things: Dean Martin, or an exceptionally talented host. While Deano wasn't available, the fantastically talented Tracey Ullman was, and the show became the biggest success to date on the fledgling Fox network.

Phil Collins seemed like a good choice to host this kind of variety show. He was at the tail end of the greatest years of his career; his group, Genesis, was a bland shadow of its former self, having transitioned from progressive rock to pop, and Collins was sounding more and more like a white Lionel Richie*; it seemed to me that it would have been a good time to transition into television.  

*No offense to Richie here; I use that example specifically because Phil Collins once said, in a Playboy interview, that he didn't want to wind up sounding "like a white Lionel Richie." Of course, I only read the interview.

The show's format would have been similar to that of Ullman's, a half-hour program which would include Phil singing his latest hit, a performance by a musical or comedy guest (the show would probably be shot in London, meaning many of the guests would have been British), a sketch involving said guest star (with Phil playing a fictionalized version of himself, not unlike the premise of The Jack Benny Program), and a duet featuring Phil and his guest. Its casual attitude would have been reminiscent of The Dean Martin Show, and while I don't suggest that it would have been as successful, I think it could have built a solid audience.

One of the things which I would have hoped would attract viewers would have been the idea of guests that one didn't usually see on television, performing comedy routines that they might or might not have been totally suited for. Imagine, for example, Phil and Pete Townshend doing a version of the Dead Parrot Sketch from Monty Python. My favorite episode idea, though, was this one:


Frankly, I think Collins could have extended his career by years with this show. It's not as if he couldn't have pulled it off; he was a child actor, so he shouldn't have had any problems with the comedy, and he certainly had enough hits to carry the show. And with the half-hour format, the series could easily have been done in-between various tours, whether solo or with Genesis. Network executives probably would have been worried about all the foreign accents on the show, though, not to mention that Phil hardly looked like the star of his own variety series. You can't talk me out of the idea, though.

A network does not live by drama alone, and with the heavy shows I introduced in the first two segments of this feature, I think it was important to introduce something lighter, while remaining creative. I wonder what's next on the schedule? TV   

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